Hello all,
How incredible it is that almost a year has gone by since my physical therapy school journey began. 2019 is an unusually vivid year for my memories, and I think it’s because how much change occurred over the course of the year. I often find myself thinking about where I was a year from whatever day it is. A year from today, April 21st when I’m writing this post, I was hiking around the North Table Mountain ecological reserve, enjoying the California wildflowers. There were people everywhere. I was free from full-time work as a rehab tech, and taking some time to travel and see some sights. I’d soon see my first coastal redwoods, try to speak Spanish to unwilling Catalonians, and spot the Sierra Nevadas in the Granada horizon. Have a few pictures:
Two weeks after my trip to Spain, gross anatomy would start. Of course, I wrote a blog post almost every week of gross anatomy, since it was such a unique experience. Fall semester, I admit, is a bit of a blur. I briefly reflected on it in my New Year’s post, but even now as I try to reflect—I think about what a strange time it was. I think it’s fun to think about how vulnerable we all were, and I fully admit that I probably tried harder than I normally do to build a solid foundation of relationships. I like to think I was successful in this venture. Still, there are too many first impressions and first experiences to try and recall here. I guess I enjoyed it enough to stick around.
Needless to say, this current and soon-to-be-ending semester has been one of the strangest academic experiences of my life. In my last blog post, I wrote about how much was occurring as a result of COVID-19. The stream of change continues. To name a few: our summer clinical has been shifted around, all of our tests have been online, we’ve been offered the choice to accept pass/fail grades and I’ve recently moved in with a new set of roommates. Adaptation continues, and I hope to continue my flexible streak. No one is immune to the changes that have come as a result of coronavirus, and to some more disproportionately than to others. How can I confront that line and not bicker about my situation, but still respect my own needs? This Summer is more uncertain than ever. I wrote to myself months ago that I expected to be traveling more during my last true Summer break; that will have to change, and I accept that.
You might expect that a reflective blog post like this would be full of the hope and joy ahead, but I admit that it is difficult to enter that mind frame given the world’s circumstances. On a day-to-day basis, I can be positive and do my best to make progress but… I refuse to paint a rosy picture here. Sometimes, situations are tough and anything but accepting that feels like lying to myself.
I am excited, however, to share some superfluous writing that I’ve been doing. Quarantine has bred space for writing, songs and poetry. I’d like to share some poetry today:
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This corner of the room is darker than the other. The four panels constrict closer and the air, staler. The jagged exposed brick, once the newest trend, offers little comfort as we try to rest against it. The throw pillow, no longer decorative, is stained red with blood and brick. The alabaster stains easily with the oil of unwashed faces and hands greasy with keyboard residues. A new coat will cover all once this is concluded. If only the time would pass. If only the means were had, to live large and free in spaces unbound by corners and absent light. If only we had more than each other. In disarray, we are not our best selves. Quarrel, we may, with others as they persist in our spaces. Oft the quarrel is easier resolved when pointed anywhere but within. Who’d rather confront the Truths when blame so easily subverts away?
Along the path we learn that substance and materials waste and wane. Learn the Truth that ‘I am flesh and bone alone’ should rightly pave the way. Souls foster growth in contentment with the other. Let Light in and reveal the room-corners of the mind that holds the contorted spirit chained between its lines. Treat well the ghost you shackled down so long ago. Let others greet the thing that the deepest shame would only ever show. For in this time of love and blindness and all proximity that sows seeds of anger and spite, the other is the Light through which we ought to say: ‘I’m glad we have each other.’
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Thank you for reading, whoever you may be. May you and those connected to you be well. Wash your hands. Spend time outside (but distant). Grow and foster something. Until next time.
ASJ
First Wealth Health 